For some time i have been toying with the concept of the ‘High Value Woman’. I had this concept mapped out in my head perfectly like the chronological pages in a novel. Then at  33, for the third time in a year, the love of my life left me again. All of a sudden I was faced with this downward spiral – a crash of intense emotions and pain that I had built up over a lifetime. Me. 33. Alone. But what about the ‘High Value Woman’?!  How am I supposed to be ‘High Value’ and write about strength and being a great partner if I am on my own, rock bottom and my life is not in order? Then it dawned on me. Whilst listening to audio messages of support from a best male friend of more than 15 years, I realised that being a woman of worth – someone who has their life in order, does not require ticking off life’s ‘duties’ and being everything. Being ‘High Value’ is much deeper than this. It’s accepting that no matter what life throws your way and no matter who chooses to be – or not be in your life, that you continue to grow and evolve  maintain the best version of yourself.

The purpose of this? So that you can provide your “higher self” to yourself as well within other avenues of life. Being “High Value” is more about knowing that your actions are driven by the right motivations and that you are so aware of your story that you can carry it high above your head and  not on your shoulders . You do not have to be married, partnered, a mother or a business woman… or, you can be all of the above. Sound cliche? The message that I have finally began to process in my thirties is that you can’t rely on anyone else for your happiness. When you are truly happy within yourself and have reached that level of pure comfort, confidence and self esteem – AND can maintain this, the natural result is becoming a High Value Woman.

So what does this look like? I’ve met a handful of women in my life that really stood out to me. Not because these women were the most intelligent, most attractive, or most successful in their business ventures, but because they each exuded a sense of balance and confidence in all facets of life. You know who I am talking about. It’s that woman who has her eggs distributed nicely across all her baskets. Regardless of what this woman has going on in her life, she values her self-worth to such a degree that she is able to be confident within herself without the need for reassurance from external sources. The result? Being able to trust in herself and the decisions she makes for herself and her loved ones generates self esteem that is immeasurable. In here lies the key to true contentment and the ability to function at your true ‘best’, thus offering the best of yourself to the world around you.

For me, personally, amongst the most trying and challenging hardships, I have finally been faced with that “Who Am I?” question. And believe me, it’s never too late to have to answer this question. Yes, it’s a fundamentally vulnerable moment of realisation when you acknowledge that for most of your adult years, you have been running full steam ahead in a different direction to where you thought you were headed. This is particularly uncomfortable given that this moment of self-realisation for me has arisen amongst the haze of loss, grief and a true sense of rock bottom.  After months of journaling my life, my experiences and my turmoil, I grudgingly realised that in my rush to grow up, I had missed the step of becoming an independent woman that values herself in ALL facets of life. And so here I am taking an honest look in the mirror – realising what and who has shaped me into who I am today, asking the question “what is my value beyond my physical and egocentric self?”

Looking back at me is a raw, rough-edged diamond covered in dirt. But a diamond nonetheless… A diamond that just needs to be polished and placed in the right setting.

And so the journey begins….

Until Next Time.

x H.V.G